Does one’s worldview change if looking through a broken soul?

Which piece fell off first?

And did it break into a million pieces when it fell around my feet?

Did it trip me up

For the rest of my life?

Yes.

The answer is yes.

I tried, but never could

Put the pieces back where they made sense

While desperately concealing all evidence of evil.

My broken pieces eventually made it back together

But they couldn’t fit in their original design anymore

I became a hidden, unglued, warped, jigsaw

puzzle that hated all the everything of me.

Which piece fell off first?

I believe it was my sanctuary.

Two large hands ripped it out of my tender,

virginal soul

And let it shatter on the floor

Before I could

Catch it

Save it

Keep it

I haven’t gotten it back.

I tried to at least find it –

In case I needed it again, which I have,

Daily.

But sanctuary is tenuous

And easily elusive

To be the glue of a shattered soul.

My jigsaw puzzle isn’t strong enough

For escape

For protection

For peace

I have no refuge from the memories stored in the darkest fortress

I have never known the sweetness of abandoned passion

And I never will

I will never know my original design,

Who I was meant to be is forever lost

I only know who I became

And

This is all because,

Because you,

YOU

Were broken first

I wander in circles, never finding the end,

Looking for everything that shattered after that first fall

So I can meld back together

And walk forward in a straight line

Over

The broken shards of dignity

To see if I still

Matter

As my fragile,

Un – secure,

Precarious,

Puzzle.

I wonder if you wander in circles of shame.

Did your broken shards shatter you

Or

Was I your only victim

And you walk

freely

among

Innocence